Seize the Moment

Chip Heath and Dan Heath may seem to have written a book about something obvious – you should seize the moment and celebrate it – yet when they remind you of the power of appreciation, surprise, courage, and social connectivity, you can’t help but recall many “moments” and opportunities you let slip by. Following their guidance, you can capture and change ordinary moments into remarkable ones and engineer additional “magical” moments. But first you must be aware, and that is one of the book’s primary lessons about the “power of moments.” The Heath brothers’ advice can help you change your life, business and career by delighting those around you.

Chip and Dan Heath also co-authored Switch, Made to Stick, Decisive, and The Myth of the Garage. Dan Heath also wrote Reset and Upstream.

The “Peak-End Rule”

When the founders of YES Prep, a Houston charter school, watched ESPN’s coverage of the college draft of high school football players, they thought their graduates should experience a similar celebration when they announced their college acceptances. The founders launched the school’s Signing Day, creating a powerful “moment” for its soon-to-be alumni.

The brothers Heath acknowledge that ideas and opportunities with such impact may seem out of reach because they often occur randomly. Yet they assure you that you can manufacture memorable, meaningful moments. When random opportunities come along, they say, it is up to you to choose what to do: let them pass, or you can seize them.

Defining moments can be consciously created. You can be the architect of moments that matter.Chip Heath and Dan Heath

People remember moments based on the peak-end rule. Suppose you take your family to Disney World. You agree Space Mountain was your family’s “peak” moment. On the way out, you visit the gift shop to buy mouse ears for your kids – your “end” experience. Of the countless moments you spent at Disney, the Heaths explain, the ones you’re likeliest to remember are Space Mountain and the gift shop; these two “peak” and “end” moments will define your entire trip. Of course, the Heaths report, hotels and resorts “engineer” such experiences. They understand the psychology of “defining” memorable moments.” 

To build meaningful moments, forge as many of these four “elements” as possible:

Element One: Engineer “Elevation”

Your lifetime peaks typically include big events like getting married or having kids. They may also include more common events like competing in sports, speaking in public, or taking a scenic walk. The secret, say the Heaths, is to elevate mundane experiences to create peak moments or make existing ones “peakier.” Use the moment to delight, amaze and surprise others.

To elevate a moment, do three things…First, boost sensory appeal. Second, raise the stakes. Third, break the script.Chip Heath and Dan Heath

To apply this lesson in your business, create elevated experiences for your customers by going beyond customer satisfaction. Provide the basics – excellent service, quality products, and fast fixes to problems – and try to create peaks that stick in your customers’ minds. For example, the management of Magic Castle hotel looks for every opportunity to surprise its guests with unexpected treats, like offering poolside white-glove Popsicle service or surprising them in their rooms with their favorite cocktails.

The Heaths advise you to focus your efforts on converting satisfied customers to engaged customers rather than converting disappointed customers to satisfied ones. Make things look, smell, taste and sound better. Intensify their experiences by including a competition, performance, or sensory element, like music or decorations.

Making such moments happen in your life requires awareness, the Heaths say, as well as willingness to overcome logistical difficulties and inertia. You need determination to make “magic” moments. The staff of the Amelia Island Ritz Carlton near Jacksonville, Florida, found a little boy’s beloved stuffed giraffe and mailed it back with an album of pictures of the giraffe lounging by the pool, driving a golf cart, and relaxing at the spa. The boy’s delighted parents wrote a blog post that went viral.

When you surprise customers with something delightful, the Heaths found, 94% will recommend you, compared with only 60% of satisfied customers.

Element Two: Engineer “Insight”

When a moment comes with a shock, good or bad, it burns itself into memory. When realization strikes, the Heaths report, change no longer takes months or years; it can happen overnight. 

It may take “a lifetime” to come to know yourself, but you can learn more quickly if you take chances. Push and stretch yourself, or get a mentor or coach who will. Mentors impel you forward by believing in your abilities, and that inspires you to stretch. Consider Sara Blakely, who founded Spanx underwear and became one of the world’s youngest female billionaires. She had to overcome rejection at first, but her first mentor – her father – had conditioned her to persevere. Every night at dinner, he wanted to know what his kids had failed at that day. This taught them not to fear or avoid failure.

Think of Lea Chadwell, who dreamed of quitting her job and opening a bakery. She eventually opened the bakery, but after 18 months realized that self-employment wasn’t for her and closed her shop. These different results demonstrate that by stretching yourself, you learn important lessons about yourself and your values, even if the results aren’t always what you had in mind.

Element Three: Engineer “Pride”

People remember occasions when someone recognizes them, perhaps with an award, a promotion, a raise or simple praise. Create moments of pride by recognizing people’s good work and deeds. The Heaths found that nothing, including high wages, is as important to employee motivation as the “feeling of being appreciated.” Make your praise personal, honest, and specific; explain why you value a person’s efforts and what their work means to the company. Combine your praise with a thoughtful gift, like a pair of headphones for a person recognized for great listening skills. Such actions forge “moments of pride.”

Divide your biggest goals into “ levels “ to create multiple opportunities for recognition, pride, and peak moments. Break big objectives down into a series of motivating milestones. When you set ambitious team or personal goals, use a similar collection of sequentially more difficult stages and levels. Build in a celebration as you achieve each level with pride.

It is hard to be courageous, but it’s easier when you’ve practiced, and when you stand up, others will join you.Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Some of the civil rights activists who put themselves in dangerous situations throughout the 1960s prepared for protests by fortifying their courage with role-playing and rehearsal. The Heaths ask you to imagine your response to situations requiring courage, such as defending a person being bullied, objecting to something morally wrong a boss says, or delivering bad news to a person you like.

Element Four: Engineer “Connection”

Experiences have more impact when you share them. To build bonds, create deeper relationships. However, you don’t have to know people long to connect with them deeply. Social psychologist Harry T. Reis found that when two people converse in such a way that they each feel listened to, respected, and cared for, they bond deeply. Researchers use his techniques to have two strangers ask each other 36 personal questions. Many participants emerge in less than an hour with a relationship they rate higher than any other in their lives. This bond-building exercise works so well, there’s now an app called “36 Questions.” The Heaths counsel you to ask people “what matters to them.”

Purpose trumps passion…The best advice is not ‘Pursue your passion!’ It’s ‘Pursue your purpose!’ (Even better, try to combine both.)Chip Heath and Dan Heath

In business, demonstrate “responsiveness” by acknowledging people and their grievances. In your personal life, combine responsiveness with “openness” to generate intimacy. Reveal something. For example, a “low-intimacy” question sounds like, “Well, my day is over. How about yours?” A “high-intimacy” version would be, “I’m really glad this day is over…How about you?” The first approach is just small talk; the second demonstrates openness and vulnerability; it deepens the relationship. The Heaths explain that forming deep bonds is part of “learning who we are and what we want and what we’re capable of…a lifelong process.”  

Moments to Remember

The Power of Moments is well-structured, with interesting case studies, vignettes that illustrate the main points, and summaries at the end of each chapter. The appendix will especially appeal to anyone in or emerging from a bad or tragic experience. The Heaths’ compassion and empathy shine through, making the reading experience resemble establishing a profound personal connection. Though the Heaths say little new to anyone passingly familiar with positive psychology – or even to keen observers of human dynamics – their synthesis of the elements that make moments magical does a tremendous service for readers. Their main premise – that special moments define any life – may or may not be a stretch for you. The only way to know is to embrace those moments.