Dealing With Depression

Depression

In this new edition of his well-respected work on managing depression, psychotherapist Richard O’Connor, PhD – author of Rewire and Happy at Last –explores the illness of depression. He covers factors that can cause or soothe it, explaining that the habits that help you mask depression can also prolong it.

Depression still carries a stigma, yet almost everyone knows what it feels like. People suffer from depression due to childhood or family issues, genetics, social awkwardness, stress, lack of support, low self-esteem, pessimism, and more.

Depression is a disease of both the mind and the body, the present and the past.Richard O’Connor

Many depressed people don’t seek therapy or medication because they don’t believe their symptoms constitute depression. Talk therapy and the appropriate pharmacological treatment can ease depression and lead to positive changes in brain function.

Depression is not an emotion – it is a lack of emotion, a “loss of feeling.” It affects the body, emotions, thoughts, and behavior.

Depression harms people through self-obsession, troubled thinking, destructive behavior, guilt, shame, fear of losing control, inability to perform normal tasks, chronic pain, physical ailments, insomnia, and changes in the brain’s chemical balance. People can manifest distorted world views, denial, repression, projection, intellectualization, rages, apathy, loss of joy, and both externalization and internalization.

Depressed people don’t feel pride in their accomplishments. They see the world pessimistically, which leads them to expect bad events to follow any good events.

O’Connor explains that lethargy, procrastination, overwork, obsessive-compulsive disorder, thrill-seeking, victimizing, and self-mutilation can deepen depression. A depressed person may do something he or she knows will backfire or end badly. Stress and depression can affect a person’s memory, concentration, and decision-making skills.

Therapy

Most people who suffer from depression don’t think they can change, but O’Connor strongly believes they can. He says people can combat depression, for one thing, by avoiding triggers and enablers. He explains that the “cognitive triad” – the trio of the self, today’s reality, and future expectations – generally rules negative thought processes. Within the triad, people create distorted negative perceptions, such as overgeneralizing or imagining worst-case scenarios. People may cling to impossible “depressive assumptions,” for example, feeling they must attain great success or popularity. These assumptions set them up for failure.

To challenge these negative thought patterns, O’Connor suggests writing down each day’s negative thoughts, along with their causes and the feelings that they provoke. Then, he says, think about the list calmly and write out a more rational way of viewing your situation.

Knowing that we are loved in spite of everything we hate about ourselves can be powerful medicine.Richard O’Connor

Recovery from depression includes getting back in touch with yourself. Play and self-care can also help alleviate symptoms such as guilt and shame.

O’Connor suggests a reframing strategy for those whose “inner critic” keeps cataloging their flaws. Stop fighting it, he says, and instead accept it by mentally positioning it as completely meaningless background noise. Meditating or practicing mindfulness can help people carry this out and greatly diminish the impact of their inner critic.

To conduct mindfulness meditation, O’Connor advises sitting upright and comfortably in a quiet place. With your eyes closed, breathe deeply and slowly. Pay attention to your breathing. If something distracts you, focus again on your breath.

Childhood Depression

O’Connor reports that depression rates are rising among children and young adults. In young people, depression can manifest as irritability, rebellion, shyness, bad grades, substance abuse, or a loss of interest in friends or hobbies. Social media worsens these manifestations, particularly if a child suffers mockery or criticism. Parents must be alert for signs of depression in their children.If you are a parent who suffers from depression, and you don’t get help, your children may also be at risk of depression.

Yearning To Connect

Depressed people fear rejection, need constant reassurance, and have trouble setting boundaries.They may also have difficulty asserting themselves and struggle with “ambiguous communication,” that is, verbalizing something while their body language says the opposite. This distortion can muddy communication.

People with depression are rarely good at being assertive, and assertive people are rarely depressed.Richard O’Connor

In terms of medical help, American doctors prescribe more antidepressants than they prescribe any other pharmaceutical. Science and medicine are currently investigating the clinical use of hallucinogens, such as psilocybin, as possible antidepressants.

O’Connor advises turning to a mental health specialist, not a general physician, for treatment of depression. He notes that, for some people, psychotherapy can prove as effective as medication in addressing depression. Psychotherapy providers may include psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical social workers, psychiatric nurses, pastoral counselors, substance abuse counselors, or other licensed professionals.

Engaging in high-quality relationships can help depressed people deal with stress, just as hurtful relationships can amplify stress. No other person – including your partner or relatives – can solve your depression issues, but a caring person can help you deal with depression.

O’Connor advises taking these steps to recover from depression: “Feel your feelings.” Practice meditation. Retrain your depressive thoughts and prioritize getting better. Talk to people straightforwardly. See your mentors, do volunteer work, “cultivate intimacy,” and seek help, as described.

If you are trying to support a depressed person, small tokens of affection can help. Never insult someone who’s depressed, and do what you can to alleviate his or her concerns, particularly small concerns that it is possible for you to address.

Hope for Depression

In this volume, Dr. Richard O’Connor updates his well-accepted, comprehensive text for recognizing and understanding depression – both yours and other people’s. He covers factors that can cause or soothe depression, and he crucially explains that the habits that help you mask depression can also prolong it. That’s only one example of O’Connor’s profound understanding of and insight into depression’s insidious nature. He insists that if you are depressed, you can elevate your spirits by cultivating new patterns, and he explains precisely how. In the end, O’Connor’s inspirational guidance for escaping depression holds love at its core: self-love, parental love, the love among friends, and the love between lovers. While getAbstract never offers medical advice, O’Connor’s guidance can be helpful. He shows readers how to understand their depressive tendencies and how to build habits that can help them beat depression.